Rapture's Familiar
by Jak Tube
Summary: The portal. Bright lights. Long metal hallways. The cackling of splicers. Blood. Thats all I can remember before arriving here. And suddenly, I'm looking at a girl with weird pink hair. Oh, shit. Definitely not in Rapture anymore. Louise X OC
1. This Ain't Rapture

**So this is my first crossover, first Bioshock vic, first Familiar of Zero fix, and first non-Pokemon vic. Wow, lots of first. *deep breath*. Ok, here we go!**

* * *

The portal. Bright lights. Long metal hallways. The cackling of splicers. Blood.

Thats all I can remember before arriving here.

The bright light fades, and I'm in what looks to be a courtyard of... a castle? I look around immediately, scanning for enemies. A crowd of... teens surrounds me, looking at me in awe. One girl stands at the front, pointing what looks like an ornately carved stick at me. Her pink hair frames her face. Pink hair? She stares at me in disbelief.

The whole courtyard is silent.

Not knowing if they are hostile or not, I fire up my plasmids. My arms sets fire and glow a hot white. They gasp.

"Where am I?" I growl. They stare at me some more, mouths open. I lift my arm and launch a fireball at them. The group parts like the red sea.

"Where the hell am I?!" I scream. One of them, a boy my age, steps forward and shakes what looks like a rose while shouting commands in some strange language. A metal figure appears, six foot tall, and takes on a hostile pose. 'What kind of Big Daddy is this?' I wonder. 'Looks more like a Big Sister to be honest.' I fire up Incinerate!, and launch a jet of fire at its knees. They melt, and the creatures falls to the ground. I pull my crossbow off of my back and fire a bolt at what I think is a porthole, or perhaps an eye. The metal is soft, and the bolt goes right through it. While the thing frantically tries to remove the bolt, I use Houdini and disappear.

I draw my knife, a long, rusty blade. In the same hand I fire up Incinerate! and the knife begins to glow. Soon, it is red hot. I sneak up behind the metal thing, which still hasn't managed to remove the bolt. I drive the the knife into its back, and pull down, expecting the disgusting innards of a Big Daddy to come out. But instead, it is empty. The creature drops dead.

I reappear, and growl at the crowd of staring teenagers. A few of them turn around and run. I walk up to the dead thing and calmly pull my bolt from its face. They stare on in awe. Suddenly, an adult appears. I shift into fighting stance, and my arms turn into a mound of ice spikes. He takes a step back and starts talking to me in a calm and reassuring tone. I don't know what he's saying, but he sounds friendly. He then points his staff towards me, and I'm engulfed in a bright light.

When the light fades I hear voices.

"Who is he?"

"He destroyed Guiche's Valkyrie! That was incredible."

"Louise summoned a monster!"

I look at the blond kid. I run towards him. I move at lightning speed because of my tonics. I draw my knife and place it at his throat. He screams.

"Where am I?" I growl.

He looks at me, scared out of his mind.

"I said where am I?" I shout in his face. I punch him in the face. My fist, covered in spikes of ice, is a painful thing to be hit by.

His nose bleeds, and he starts crying.

"Tristania! You're in Tristania!" he wails before collapsing into a fit of sobbing. I push him away from me and he falls to the ground. The kid quickly curls up in fetal position. Tristain? Is that some part of Rapture I've never heard of?

I start walking towards the pink haired girl in order to question her when another kid comes out of nowhere, his weird stick raised, pointing at me.

"Stop… Right now!" he shouts, "I will use my magic to…" I cut him off by freezing him solid with Winter Blast. I roll my eyes. I continue walking to the pink haired girl.

"Why am I here? What's going on?" I get right up in her face. She blushes.

"I summoned you! Y-you're my familiar!"

"Summoned me? What?"

"I cast a spell, and, well, it summons something! You have to be my familiar!"

"What's a familiar?"

"You serve me! You cook, and clean, and do laundry, and protect me, and…"

"Sounds like slavery to me!"

She looks at her feet, clearly embarrassed.

"But you can't go back to wherever you came from! You-"

I cut her off.

"WHAT?"

She makes a little eep! noise and jumps back.

"Oh fuck…" I moan, grabbing my head. Suddenly I have this huge headache. "Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck… How am I gonna recharge my EVE? How will I get more plasmids?"

I turn to the girl. I grab her shoulders and shake her.

"What am I gonna do?"

* * *

**Well, that's it! If you're wondering, this guy is not Jack. He's an OC. I know its short as crap, but it'll get longer. Anyhow, review n stuff :P**


	2. Beer, Breasts and Bullies

**Alright, heres chapter two. And I hit 1K words with this one! (Woop woop!) So, yeah. Read n review n stuff.**

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"Kiss me!" She glows a bright shade of red.

"Huh?" I say, "I know I'm incredibly sexy and all, but geez, now's not the time!"

She rolls her eyes.

"T-that's not what I meant!"

"Well then what did you mean?"

"A k-kiss is how you seal the contract! So you can be my familiar!" she shouts, exasperated.

I ponder my situation for a moment, and quickly realize that this whole thing is insane. Absolutely insane.

"So I can't go home, I'm in a new world I know nothing about, and I am about to become your slave."

"It's not slavery! A master befriends and loves his familiar!"

"I still don't like it." I grumble. I pull out a cigarette and light it.

Before we continue you probably want to know about me. I'm Jonny Carter. I'm sixteen years old, 5'3, black hair. I'm a citizen of Rapture. Or was. I'm skinny but strong. I wear an old fisherman's coat that smells like the sea, pants and work boots. I smoke, drink and splice. (Yup, I'm a model teenager.) Hobbies: Not Dying and inventing plasmids. Anyhow, back to the story.

"Well," I say, stretching and yawning, "This has been fun, but I don't wanna be a slave, so see ya!"

I grin and go invisible.

I watch for a moment as everyone panics, and I try hard to suppress a giggle. They all start running around, freaking out. A blond girl runs over to the blond guy and helps him up. He's still blubbering. A girl with bright red hair and, hehe, big breasts looks around with a sly grin on her face and a blush on her cheek. One guy, tall and bald, starts using what I think is Incinerate! to try to thaw out that kid I froze. Everyone's going nuts except for the pink haired girl. She just falls to the ground and starts crying. 'Whats wrong with her?' Some of the other kids notice her and start to laugh, chanting:

"Louise the Zero! Louise the Zero!"

At first I pretend not to notice. But suddenly, I feel.. sympathy? I feel bad for her. These guys are just like the assholes at my school. Back when Rapture had schools. One kid leads the chant:

"Who can't even get a familiar?"

"Louise the Zero!"

They say the last part in a nasally, singsong voice. It pisses me off.

"Who knows nothing about magic?"

"Louise the Zero!"

"What is she?"

"Who is the worst mage in the history of this school?"

"Louise the Zero!"

"What is she?"

"Zero! Zero! Zero!"

The pink haired girl, or I guess, Louise, is sobbing now. Suddenly, I'm angry. Very angry. I reappear in front of the kid leading the chant.

He's about to start the chant again when he sees me. My hand is still in Winter Blast mode, and my coat is covered in splicer blood.

"Who's about to get fucked up?" I grin at him sickly.

The kid stares at me. He's scared to death.

I run at him, simultaneously drawing my knife and screaming:

"This asshole!"

He and his chanting buddies run away screaming. I laugh and take a drag on my cigarette. 'Stupid bullies..."

I walk over to the pink haired girl. She's stopped crying and is staring at the spot where the bullies were.

"You okay?" I ask, holding out my hand to her.

She sniffs a little.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine…" She says, blushing. I pull her off the ground, and then look her sternly in the eye.

"I'll be your familiar," I say, "But only if you promise not to treat me like a slave."

"Okay!" she says excitedly. She does a little happy dance, and I roll my eyes.

"So how do you seal the contract? Do I have to sign my name on a sheet or something?" I ask.

"I told you… a k-kiss…" she looks down again, blushing.

"Why a kiss? Why don't we just shake hands or something?"

"Because its a magic contract!"

"Huh?"

"You control magic, you should know!" she says haughtily.

"Magic? Those were plasmids!" I say, confused. 'These people are crazy!'

"No, that was magic!"

I sigh. I don't feel like getting into an argument.

"Whatever. Let's just seal the contract already."

She blushes like crazy.

"You drunk or something?" I ask. My dad would come home from work like this sometimes. He was a great dad. Worked at Fontaine Futuristics, taught me how to modify, and then make, my own plasmids. Killed in the civil war.

I miss him.

"N-no! I am not drunk!" she says defiantly.

"Well lets go already! I'm getting tired of waiting!" I'm just trying to cover up how nervous I am.

She leans in, blushing even more, and kisses me.

Soft. Thats all I remember when I think back to it. Her lips where… soft. It felt... good. Real good. Like beer. The other thing I remember is that I didn't know you were supposed to use tongue.

She finally stops kissing me. She looks like a jar of ADAM, her face all red.

"Geez! That was a little… intense!" I say, blushing. 'Stupid, stupid! why are you blushing?'

She looks at the ground.

"So what's your name?" I ask.

"L-Louise de Francois de la Vallier" She says shyly.

I grin.

"Jonny Carter, at your service. Is there anyplace I can go get drunk?"

She rolls her eyes.

* * *

**Not bad, if I do say so myself. If you're wondering about the inventing plasmids thing, it'll be explained in later chapters. I'm having a lot of fun with this story so far, so review for meh, plz!**


	3. An Interesting Night

**Hey guys, chapter three is done! Juts gonna say, this isn't gonna follow the anime or manga very closely. I'm gonna change a ton of stuff.**

* * *

We begin walking to her room. I'm still puffing away on my cigarette. It tastes good. It tastes like home.

"Oh, that smells terrible," Louise complains, "What is it, anyway?"

"A cigarette. Wanna try?"

I take it out of my mouth and pass it to her. She takes it, looks at it funny, and finally sticks it in her mouth (A/N: that sounded really dirty.) She looks at me expectantly.

"Go on, inhale." I instruct her. She takes a long drag and immediately starts hacking and wheezing like crazy. I start laughing my ass off.

"That's not *cough* f-funny! *wheeze*" She shouts.

Her face is red as a tomato, and she's doubled over, hacking her lungs out.

I laugh harder.

oOo

We get to her room a few minutes later. It's kinda nice, actually. Decent size, big four poster bed, and tons of extra stuff, like dressers and wardrobes. She even has a bathroom.

"Um... where do you want to sleep?" She asks me.

"Well", I say, sitting down on the cold stone floor, "Right here is good enough for me."

Louise looks worried.

"Do you want a blanket? A candle? A mattress? Aren't you going to be cold tonight?"

"Naw, I'll be fine. This is how I always slept back home. On the floor." I leave out that I was usually surrounded by dead splicers and rubble.

She's silent for a while. I lay my crossbow on the ground, just in case, and close my eyes.

"Jonny?"

I groan and roll over. I was almost asleep.

"What?"

Louise is sitting on the bed, looking nervous. She's slightly red in the face.

"A-as my familiar, you must dress me!" She splutters. She looks, angry, embarrassed and nervous at the same time.

She glares at me.

"OK, ok!" I say, "Didn't have to freak out at me. Where's you're pyjamas?"

She points to a huge dresser. "Over there."

I grab some sleepwear and walk up to her. Her cheeks turn red. I'm already disliking being a familiar.

"Can't you dress yourself?" I ask, annoyed.

"Yes, but this is your job. As a familiar you must..."

I put up my hand to silence her. I don't need another list of familiar chores. I've already heard it a hundred times.

"Fine. I'll do it."

I begin removing her clothes. She gets pretty red in the face. After a few moments, all thats left is her underwear.

"C-close your eyes." She instructs.

I do as I'm told.

I start trying to undo her bra, but my hand slips and I grab something soft and squishy. 'Huh?' I move my other hand around and find another squishy thing. I open my eyes to find Louise, mouth agape, staring at my hands, which are squeezing her breasts. Their not the biggest in the world, but they are nice.

"Heheh..." I say nervously.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!" She screams. She starts hitting me.

"Get out! Get out! Get out!" She shouts. Her tiny fists hit my chest on each "out!" She's blushing like crazy.

"Hey! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! You told me to-" I'm cut off by her pulling out a horse whip. I have no idea where she got that, but I'm not stupid. I turn tail and run out the door. She slams it shut behind me.

With nothing better to do, I sit outside her door, thinking. I pull out a bottle of Old Tom Whiskey and start drinking. Soon, I'm drunk, and the memories come back. I try to force back tears. All I can think of is my dad. His face when the Big Daddy drove his drill into him. Him telling me to run. Us, in the kitchen, working together on a new plasmid and laughing. I was twelve when the war started. Same age when my dad died. I can no longer hold back the tears. I down the rest of the whiskey.

Suddenly, I hear noises. Drunkenly, I stand up, and pull my knife, simultaneously firing up Electro Bolt.

"Who's there?" I shout. My vision is blurry.

"I swear to god, I'll fucking kill you!" I growl angrily. I stumble forward, trip, fall and pass out. As everything turns to black I hear scampering feet around me. I catch something red in the corner of my eye.

I wake up in someones room. Its definitely not Louise's place. Suddenly I hear a voice.

"Well, you're up." Someone purrs.

I reach for my crossbow, only to find it is gone. Same for my knife. I try to use my plasmids, but the whiskey has drained my EVE completely. I reach for my back pack, but, of course, it's gone, too. A girl steps out of the shadows. It's the busty redhead I saw earlier.

"Where's my stuff?" I demand.

"Over there. Just to make sure you wouldn't try to kill me." She says. Her voice turns seductive.

"Now, for the reason you're here."

She walks up to me, slowly, and, I'll admit it, sexily. She's very attractive. She leans in for a kiss, and I almost lean in myself, when I realize something.

"Hey, wait a minute." I say, pushing her off me.

"What?" She says, pouting.

"I don't have any cash... so in other words, I can't afford you..." I say awkwardly.

"WHAT!? ARE YOU CALLING ME A WHORE?"

I've already gathered up my stuff by the time she's done saying that.

"Aren't you a prostitute?" I ask. I'm thoroughly confused.

She grabs a nearby candlestick. She's so angry she looks like she'll kill me. I take the hint and run. In one night I've managed to get thrown out of my room, and piss off two girls.

Not a bad night, according to Rapture standards.


	4. Professor Almond

**Alright, heres some more stuff for you to read. Yeah. By the way, I'm doing something nobody else has done, I think. I'm including Montmorency as a harem member!**

* * *

Harem: Louise, Kirche, Tabitha, Henrietta, Montmorency.

Tonics:

Wrench jockey

Wrench lurker

Clever inventor

Prolific inventor

Eve saver

Extra nutrition

Natural camouflage

Sportboost

Plasmids:

Electro Bolt

Incinerate

Insect Swarm

Winter Blast

Telekinesis

Sonic Boom

* * *

Well, after that little "incident" it was morning. So instead of going back to Louise's room, I sneak to the kitchen and steal some bread. I guess I'll wait by the dining hall till Louise shows up. Meanwhile, students are starting to enter the dining room. None of them notice me; I'm completely hidden in the shadows. That blond haired idiot, Guiche, is talking to some blond haired girl who looks like he could be her sister. They argue. A brown haired girl shows up. They all start arguing. Then I see Louise show up. She looks frantic. She starts talking to them, looking around, asking question. I can't tell what they're saying. Suddenly, that little blonde creep laughs and pushes Louise to the ground. The other kids laugh, too. I fire up Houdini and draw my knife. I'm invisible.

I sneak up to the blond kid. He's making fun of Louise.

"… and now Zero has lost her familiar, and she comes to me begging for help! As the gracious noble I am," he looks at the two pissed off girls he was just arguing with and smiles, "I might be able to help you. For a price, of course."

Louise looks hopeful.

"You will really do that for me?" She asks.

"Of course not!" He shouts, laughing, "Oh, you gullible little fool." He brings his foot back to kick her.

She looks close to tears. I'm angry.

I reappear behind the little jerk with my knife at his throat.

"Don't fucking touch her."

I pull the knife closer to his throat.

"Yeah, you know what this is, don't ya?" I growl.

"Jonny! Don't!" Shouts Louise frantically.

"Now listen here. You don't touch her. You don't look at her. You don't even interact with her, is that understood?" Guiche is sobbing. I look at the crowd that's gathered around.

"Her name is Louise from now on!" I shout, "Louise! Is that understood? Not Zero!"

They all murmur. I push Guiche to the ground and unleash the full force off Insect Swarm on him. He screams as the insects bite into his flesh. The crowd screams and gasps. I grin sickly at them.

"Come on Louise. We're done here."

I grab her hand and we walk out of the room like nothing happened. She suddenly stops.

"Jonny, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have kicked you out! I was just upset, but really it was my fault, I told you to close your eyes, and-"

I put a finger to her lips. She blushes.

"It's ok." I say simply. She nods.

"Oh, yeah, Jonny, Old Osmond wanted to see us in his study this afternoon after classes."

"Classes?" I ask.

"This is a school, the finest school of magic in Halkegania!" Louise states proudly. I roll my eyes.

"Alright, let's go." We head to her class.

oOo

Soon were at Louise's class. Some teacher at the front drones on and on and on about earth magic. If you use this and say this and wave your wand around, it makes earth magic. Boring. Why don't you jam that wand right up your [expletive removed].

Meanwhile, I look around the room. I notice the red headed chick who abducted me last night glaring at me. I grin sheepishly.

Louise leans in to me.

"Where did you go last night?" She whispers.

"Uh, well… I ended up in that girls room," I point to the red head.

"You mean Von Zerbst? No! What did she do to you?" Louise is pissed.

"She tried to… uhm… how do I put this… rape me?" I grin sheepishly.

"WHAT!?" screams Louise angrily. Everyone looks at her. She points her stick- I mean, wand- at me. I know enough to run. I sprint across some desks while explosions… explode? all around me. One of them catches my feet and launches me int the air. I curl up and wait for impact with the stone floor. but somehow, I land on something… soft? I hear a squeak from above me and look up to see a blond haired girl staring down at me, blushing like a tomato. I look forward and realize my face is somehow between her legs. I can see right up her skirt. I whip out my research camera and take a couple quick photos so I can… uh… research them later. Yeah, purely scientific.

The research camera beeps. "White panties with pink lace, on milky white legs. +50 research points on Female Mages."

I like this camera.

I stand up and brush myself off. I look at the blond haired girl. She is still blushing like crazy. I put my hand out. She takes it and stands up.

"Nice to meet ya. I'm Jonny," I say amiably.

"Montmorency." She squeaks. She is still clearly quite embarrassed, her face incredibly red.

"Nice panties."

"…"

I walk off. Everyone is staring at me. I grin. I'm just a babe magnet.

oOo

About five minutes later, I'm meeting this old guy called... Almond? Or maybe it was Osmond... Something like that. He has a big beard and he seems like a decent guy. He's really skinny. He wears a bathrobe of sorts.

"Mr... What is your name?" Asks the Almond guy. He looks at me quizzically.

"I'm Jonny, Jonny Carter, pleasure to meet ya," I say, sticking out my hand. We shake. He has a firm handshake.

"Alright, Mr. Carter, you are the first human summons we've had in... My goodness me, maybe 50 years!" He exclaims, "Where do you come from?"

"I'm from... A place called Rapture. In America. Well, technically, under the Pacific Ocean."

Louise is staring at me like I'm crazy. So is Almond. Come on, everyone knows what America is. Everyone!

"America? The Pacific Ocean? Where is that..? Wait a second..."

Almond searches through a pile of junk and finds a map. He spreads it out in front of me. At first the map seems normal but then I realize everything is... Off.

"Does any of this... Look familiar?" He asks, pointing at the map.

Nothing is familiar! Where... Where am I? I am really out of my league here. This isn't even earth! I don't recognize any of this!

"No sir, nothing." For once I'm respectful. It feel like I should be respectful to this guy.

"Nothing?"

"Nope."

"So... You're no farm boy. I can tell by looking at you. What is you're world like?"

I tell him my story. Or what I remember, anyway. What I want to remember.

"Interesting..." Almond says, "but what about your magic? You spoke of no mages in your country..."

"Oh, this?" I say casually, firing up Incinerate!. The skin on my arms burns to ashes and peels off, leaving only flesh and bone. Louise and Almond gasp. Louise looks likes she gonna be sick. I turn off Incinerate!.

"That's a plasmid. It's like changing your bodies genetic code to do... Stuff." Man, I sound lame.

"I... See." Says Almond, still clearly confused, "Well, that's all from me. You may go now, Louise, Mr. Carter." He looks at us quizzically, while stroking his long beard. I turn and walk out, Louise on my heels.

"You were quiet." I say to her. She blushes. She does that a lot.

"I was... Thinking."

"About what?" I ask.

"N-nothing." She squeaks.

"Ok then..." Weird.

oOo

Anyway, me and Louise went back to her room. She's looking oddly nervous. I forget about it and get ready for bed. I'm about to lie down in my corner when Louise pipes up.

"Y-you know, you were a g-good familiar today," she says. She's beet red, "You deserve a r-reward for saving me from Guiche."

I look at her quizzically. She looks at the ground, her cheeks still bright red.

"Uh... Louise?" I ask tentatively.

"You may sleep in the bed with me!" She shouts.

She glares at me then turns away. Ok then... I get up and climb into her bed with her. She's turned away from me completely. What does she want, anyway?

"Y-you m-may hold me, if y-you want."

Hold her? Why would I... What the hell is going in her mind? Maybe she's having a period or something...

"Do you want me to hold you?" I say, still perplexed.

"Of course not! I-I mean, a familiar should be rewarded by h-his master."

"Oh, ok then. Do I have too?" I ask.

"No..." She says. She sounds let down.

"Ok then." I turn away from her.

"Wait! I..." She sighs, defeated, "I want you to hold me." If she blushes anymore, steam will come out of her ears.

"Sure." I say flippantly.

I wrap my arms around her waist. She starts to... purr? The fuck? It does feel good, though, to hold her like this. But why the fuck is she purring?

"You're... Purring..." I deadpan.

"No I'm not!" She squeaks.

I pat her head and she purrs some more.

I seriously don't understand this girl.

* * *

**Well, that's it! It wasn't the best, as I had to write it on the road, but it's something. Sorry for the long wait. Next chapter: Epic battle!**


	5. Spider Splicer

**Whats going on bros, my names PewDieP- er, Jak. Heres the next chapter. Out of curiosity, has anyone ever made fan art for any of my stories? Probs not, but I'm curious. Anyway, here goes!**

* * *

I woke up the next morning feeling pretty darn good. I unwrap Louise from around my waist (she clings to me like a frigging monkey) and head out the door. It's 6am and no one is up yet. Perfect. I sneak downstairs and steal some food. I figure I can get Louise some breakfast, she's been pretty nice lately. I head back upstairs. On my way up, I noticed the blond haired girl, Montmorency, crying. It's none of my business, though, so I move on. I walk into Louise's room. She's still asleep. She's actually… Ugh, I feel so stupid saying this, but she's cute when she sleeps. I gently shake her awake. Still sleepy, she grabs me and tries to pull me into her bed. I back away.

"Jonny, why are you so mean to me..?" She says sleepily.

"W-what?" I ask. What is she doing?

"Come here, Jonny, I wanna give you a big kiss…" She says. She purses her lips.

My jaw drops. Suddenly, she shakes her head.

"This isn't a dream?" She mumbles. She shakes her head again, trying to wake herself up.

Louise looks up at me and turns beet red. I'm guessing she just realized what she was doing. Uh oh. Not good for me.

"You evil dog! You pervert! You… You…" She screams.

She raises her tiny fists and starts hitting me. She's got to be the weakest girl ever. She's not even making a dent. Suddenly, she stops for a second. I look up. Maybe she isn't angry anymore..?

She pulls out a horse whip. Oh shit.

She's about to bring the whip crashing down on my head when I get an idea. I lift up the food I stole.

"I brought breakfast…" I whimper.

She lowers the whip and looks down at me. I hand her the food.

"Well done," she says haughtily, "I think I can forgive you for what just happened."

She turns away from me and starts eating.

"But I didn't do anything!" I protest.

"Shut up, dog." She mumbles, taking a bite of the bread.

"Woof." I say sarcastically. She glares at me and takes another bite of her bread.

oOo

While Louise is in her classes, I decide to sneak around the school. I wander pointlessly for about 20 minutes when suddenly I hear sobbing. I follow the noise and I find Montmorency. She's sitting with her knees pulled to her chest, crying. I stop sneaking and go over to her.

"Hey," I say to her.

"Go away." She mumbles. Her eyes are red, and tears drip off her nose.

I sit down next to her. I have nothing better to do.

"Whats wrong?" I ask.

"Guiche was cheating on me. Again!" She sobs.

"So why don't you break up with him?" I ask. These girls are kind of stupid sometimes. Come on, this is a no brainer.

She throws her hands in the air.

"I don't know! I mean, he can be so nice sometimes, and then… he breaks my heart," She says, clearly frustrated.

"If you don't want to break up with him, why don't you cheat on him? Show him how it feels."

She stares at me blankly for a good 15 seconds. Then she smiles evilly at me.

"Thats a great idea," She says evilly, "I'll show him how it feels to be betrayed! Oh, he will taste my wrath. He will beg on his knees for me to take him back, but I'll say no! Ha ha ha!" I swear she's insane.

"But… who should I cheat on him with?" she asks.

I shrug. She thinks for a moment.

"You!" She shouts, pointing at me.

I jump back.

"Me what?"

"He hates you the most, so when he catches me cheating on him with you, he'll be totally pissed!" She states triumphantly.

"Wait, wha-"

She leans in to kiss me. I back away, blushing like an idiot.

"Why the heck are you trying to kiss me?!" I shout.

"Well, duh, I just explained it to you. It's my revenge plan. You gave me the idea." She acts like this is completely normal.

Oh, god. I need to fix this, fast.

"Ok, new plan. Beat his head in with a tire iron. That's how I get revenge."

"Are you insan-"

Crunch crunch crunch.

"What was that?" She asks, "I heard a noise."

Suddenly I hear the noise too. I stop talking and listen.

Crunch crunch crunch.

Cracking plaster. It's the noise of plaster cracking. Holy fucking shit. I know what this is. Holy fucking shit.

Spider splicer.

I stand up and draw my knife. I fire up Telekinesis. Suddenly, a hook flies over my head.

"Get down!" I shout at Montmorency. She complies.

I hear mumbling.

"You need your shots, Timmy! YOU NEED YOUR DAMN SHOTS!"

Another hook flies over me. I catch it with Telekinesis and fling back towards where it came from. I hear cursing, then a thump. I walk forward, and suddenly, I see him. Lying on the ground, trying to yank the hook from his side, is a spider splicer. He wears old doctors clothing and is covered in blood. He wears a mask.

"You bastard, Timmy, take your damn shots!" He spits. He rips the hook from his side. Organs fly everywhere.

He jumps at me, swinging his hooks like mad. I sidestep him, but he manages to catch the edge of my face with his attack. I'm bleeding.

"Don't be naughty, Timmy!" He screams.

I pull out my crossbow and fire, aiming at his chest. It goes right through him, pulling him back and impaling him on the wall. He struggles, tries to pull the bolt out of his chest, and suddenly stops, defeated.

I walk up to him. Weakly, he says:

"Looks like I'm on the wrong end of the needle this time, eh, Timmy?" He grins.

Poor bastard. I drive my knife into his temple. Instant and almost painless death.

Montmorency walks up to me. All colour has drained from her face.

"Is he dead?" She whispers.

"Yeah." I say.

But the real question is, how did he get here?

* * *

**A cliffhanger :) I'm mean. deal with it.**


End file.
